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The Virtues Gazette "Bringing Virtues To Life" |
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The Virtues Gazette "Bringing Virtues To Life" |
November 2003 Tell a friend! Feel free to forward this newsletter to others. FREE SUBSCRIPTION PREVIOUS ISSUES TO BOOK Nancy Watters phone toll free 866-386-0253 or e-mail IN THIS ISSUE Happy Birthday, Virtues Gazette! It's been a little over one year since the launch of this publication. Over 1,000 subscribers from 40+ countries have nourished the endeavor by sending encouraging notes and inspiring stories. Thank you everyone. Connecting with you has made it a labor of love. Teachers may want to consider subscribing to "Virtues Ideas". It's a monthly e-zine from New Zealand that contains suggestions for classroom activities by grade level. Write to Beth Lew at virtues@paradise.net.nz 1. VIRTUE OF THE MONTH--JUSTICE Justice: "1) justness, fairness 2) authority exercised in the maintenance of right 3) judicial proceedings" [Oxford Pocket English Dictionary] The word "justice" evokes strong feelings. It means getting what is deserved, which is scary if you have done something wrong. But justice also means having one's rights respected and not being subjected to oppression. Sound better? Properly used, justice is a vehicle for creating fairness, security and harmony in families, communities and nations. It deters crime and opposes cruelty, tyranny, and oppression. As discussed in the previous newsletter, when an individual is faced with injustice, the prescription is twofold: report it to the proper authority and then strive to forgive. Communities, on the other hand, cannot simply overlook misdeeds. Collectively they have the responsibility to protect group members, maintain unity and promote equity. Punishment is an indispensable element of effective justice. Liars, deceivers, and bullies do not usually reform their behavior unless there are serious consequences. But these consequences must be meted out with compassion, not anger or revenge, in order to have the most beneficial effect. Overly harsh or cruel punishments tear down dignity and good character and often lead to a continuing cycle of retaliatory crime. Recognizing this, the best systems of justice strive to rehabilitate repentant offenders. In restorative justice, punishments are fair and educative. Offenders are helped to make amends, repair relationships and restore their sense of dignity. They are actively taught a better way of living. This has a positive impact on the offender, and also on the whole community, by affirming the inherent worth of each member. Restorative justice is effective with all levels of offences, including the most serious crimes. Studies show that the recidivism rate is significantly lower when this approach is used. Guidelines for using a restorative justice process include the offender's willingness to admit to the crime and to voluntarily participate. Some people have criticized the method for being "too soft" on crime. However, offenders say that it is much more difficult to face their victim and hear the impact it had on them, than to spend years in jail. Read more at Restorative Justice Online Where there is corruption, self-interest, greed, prejudice, and lack of moral leadership we find "travesties of justice". The day I began to write this, reminders of three large-scale examples of social injustice came to my attention. First, I had lunch with a First Nation's elder who talked about how her 5 year old son had been taken away from her, put in a residential school and stripped of his family, culture and language. Our conversation caused me to remember the death of my in-laws in the Holocaust, which continues to have an impact on my children, three generations later. That evening a friend invited me to a Tibetan film festival. I could see that justice was going to be a heavy topic. Food for thought was already being delivered by the truck load. A bumper sticker that was popular some years ago said, "If you want peace, work for justice." We can each choose to work for justice in many ways, at many levels--local, national and international. But one area where we all have an immediate impact is the way in which we conduct our family relationships. Families are the foundation of society and the laboratory where children learn firsthand about justice. RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES Harmonious, loving families (and nations) are characterized by fairness to all members. The rights of each are recognized and preserved. Additionally, each member upholds his or her corresponding responsibilities. For example, the adults have the responsibility to provide food, shelter, clothing and education for the children. Therefore, the adults have the corresponding right to make the final decisions and to be treated with respect. Children likewise have the right to be treated with dignity, to be cared for until they can care for themselves and to receive an education. Corresponding responsibilities include studying conscientiously, taking care of the material things provided to them, assisting with the work of the household and being courteous to the adults. Ideally, the specific rights and responsibilities of each person are developed with input from all those involved. Even very young children have a sense of fairness and can suggest useful ideas. Teens have a keen sense of justice and idealism that can be tapped for creative ways to manage household affairs. But don't confuse allowing discussion with being allowed to make the decisions. Parents must reserve the right to make the final decisions-they have the major responsibilities. Once decisions are made, let them stand. Reevaluate them only when circumstances change, when children get older or when it's obvious that there is a more effective choice. Constant negotiations lead to constant conflict that will wear you down, tempt you to "give in", and undermine justice. An important note here is that fairness does not always mean sameness. If one person is going through a growth spurt and needs new shoes every 3 months, that does not mean that you need to buy new shoes for everyone at the same time in order to be fair. This seems obvious, but children will try this line of reasoning with all sorts of permutations, so it's best to be prepared. Fairness means that each person's needs are met. And each person's needs may be different. Repeat this like a mantra and they will eventually believe you. RULES AND INFRACTIONS Suggestions for developing family rules are listed below in "Action Ideas". Be thoughtful about the rules that you create so that you don't have to retract them later. Then be consistent and fair in your administration of consequences for misbehavior. It may occasionally be appropriate to employ the virtue of mercy (which is giving someone more than they deserve and perhaps letting them off the hook due to mitigating circumstances). But don't make too many exceptions to the basic rules, otherwise you will undermine justice and create disharmony. In my workshops I sometimes ask participants to list the characteristics of the worst and best bosses they've ever had. The most popular bosses are not those who let everyone do as they please. Their workplaces are chaotic and unfair. Likewise, leaders who are harsh, controlling and retaliatory are also unpopular. People rebel against them in various subtle and not-so-subtle ways and strive to get around the rules, which also undermines justice. People say that the best bosses are those who set clear boundaries, apply rules fairly to all, and are firm as well as loving. People try to please these leaders and aim to live up to their positive expectations. So what are the implications for parents? Could it be that parents who use a similar style will find that their children respect them and emulate them? Give is a try (and give it time). Justice is best taught by example. By deeds more than words. Justice is a complex virtue with many facets. I realize that these few thoughts only touch the surface of the topic. May your reflections be as fruitful for you as they have been for me. "All virtue is summed up in dealing justly." Aristotle "Justice is the conscience of the whole of humanity." Alexander Solzhenitsyn "Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both." Eleanor Roosevelt "One injustice cannot be redressed by another injustice." Sergio Vieira De Mello "A man who knows he has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it is committing another mistake." Confucius "Be fair to yourselves and to others, that the evidences of justice may be revealed, through your deeds." Baha'u'llah "True peace is not merely the absence of tension. It is the presence of justice." Martin Luther King
I am fair to myself and others. I set firm and loving boundaries. I search for the truth of things without prejudice. I accept responsibility when I do wrong and strive to make amends. I care enough to stand up for the rights of others.
2. VIRTUE GEMS--Inspirational and humorous stories VIRTUES IN THE CLASSROOM I am a high school history teacher who has been using virtues in the classroom for the past three years. The virtues are listed in a handout that students put in their notebooks and on the wall. I started by observing students practicing the virtues and then giving them a certificate of achievement in recognition. It has grown into students nominating their classmates for this class "Virtue Award". Now it is an informal part of our curriculum. We talk almost daily about the virtues of leaders and common people and how the virtues they practice have affected the course of history. Dave Winslow, California I like to encourage the children to use the virtues language with each other in my public school classroom. Nothing sounds sweeter to my ears than observing students discussing their virtues. Honor was popular one year. Another year they chose respect as the first class rule. Another time a student wrote to me and reminded me to use my kindness. I took the suggestion to heart and was filled with joy at my students using the language of the virtues in appropriate ways. Joyfully, Dale Ann Tucson, AZ DO YOU HAVE A STORY of virtues in action to share? Send your stories to Submission Guidelines ©2003 Watters & Associates
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