The Art of Encouragement--17 Simple Ways to Bring Out Everyone's Best

The Art of Encouragement

17 Simple Ways to Bring Out Everyone's Best

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By Nancy A. Watters, M.A.

This five page special report delivers the most potent techniques for fostering good character. Within minutes you will understand the essentials. A three-page chart packed with powerful tips will show you how! Keep it at your fingertips for easy reference. Use these 17 secrets of success to:

Foster trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, kindness, compassion and many other virtues.
Help children become good people--inside and out.
Boost workplace integrity, productivity and loyalty.
Create an environment where others want to do the right thing.
Increase the odds that people actually do the right thing, even when tempted otherwise.
Tame the most challenging behavior problems
Discipline with dignity
Reweave the moral fibre of society

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7 Ways to Teach Honesty
Chores Without Wars
9 Ways to Develop Compassion
What are Virtues?
16 Ways to Act With Justice
14 Ways to Practice Forgiveness
The "Golden Rule" in World Religions

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The Art of Encouragement

© 2004 Nancy Watters, http://www.VirtuesConsulting.com.
All rights reserved. For reprint permission write Nancy Watters at

A quick glance at the headlines in any corner of the world indicates that the root cause of most of our social ills can be traced to lack of moral backbone. People are trying to stem the tide of moral drift by using a "get tough" approach. They believe that we can get control of things through harsh punishments and intimidation. In fact, the opposite it true. That approach actually increases moral depravity. A gentler, more effective alternative is the art and science of encouragement.

To encourage literally means to infuse with courage-to help someone overcome their fears, "take heart", do what is right in the face of possible negative consequences, learn from their mistakes and keep trying. Encouragement strengthens people's moral courage so that they do the right things, for the right reasons--without external controls. Encouragement develops internal motivation, self-direction and initiative. The result is "good conscience", willpower and self-control. People blossom under encouragement. In the long run, it is the most effective means of influencing others.

Rarely, however, do we find people who will always do the right thing without any incentives-rewards or consequences. So praise-a type of reward-can be another helpful option when used properly. Praise motivates people to learn new skills and behaviors, and reinforces established patterns. Praise is a powerful incentive because of the deep human need to connect with others. It conveys to someone, "Your behavior pleases me!" But praise carries certain risks. When it's is excessive or insincere it soon looses its effect. Additionally, people may decide that they will only behave properly when recognition and rewards are forthcoming. Society is replete with examples of those who do the right thing only when there is "something in it for me". Another risk is that some people get hooked on approval and are crippled by the belief that "I only matter when I am pleasing others". For these reasons, use praise sparingly, as indicated in this chart.

I hope you will agree that the seventeen discouraging behaviors listed below are never appropriate. If you believe that the only way to get good behavior out of people is through coercion, humiliation, criticism, fear or severe punishments, I hope you will reconsider. People may obey for awhile if you "scare them to death", but harsh methods create a backlog of resentment and actually increase misbehavior in the long run. Furthermore, they literally "de-moralize" people and reduce conscience to rubble. If you slip into one of these behaviors from time to time (who hasn't?), apologize, make amends and forgive yourself. Then pull this chart out and use it to encourage yourself. You CAN get back on track. When you use these "17 secrets of success" consistently, you will powerfully influence others for good. Guaranteed!

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